No matter what they tell you – dating can be stressful especially after a long term relationship or a divorce. It’s not as easy as getting her number and going for a nice night out. It can be downright nerve wracking and even scary. People often say “it’s just like riding a bike” or “getting back up on the horse again.” However, the dating scene is like a whole new world. You have to take things slow and easy so here are some tips to ease the transition and hopefully take some of the edge off so that you can get back out there again.
Slow and steady wins the race: The most important thing to remember is to take it easy. Don’t rush out and get a boat load of numbers and set up some random dates. You’ll overwhelm yourself and frustrate the women you’re with. Instead, feel the vibe and ask around. It’s OK to go on a date and just see how it feels. It doesn’t even have to be anything serious. As long you’re both having fun, you won’t feel any pressure.
Freshen Up: After a long term relationship, you’ve probably let some things slide because of the misery you’ve been in. Now’s the perfect time to go back to the gym, get a haircut, or indulge in some retail therapy. When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you attract people.
Don’t go into details: When you start dating again, you’re probably wondering if you should divulge a few details about your past. Don’t talk about your experiences with someone new right away. Leave all that to your friends or parents. You probably don’t want to hear about her ex either and it’s not a good idea to talk about yours especially if it was a bitter end.
Talk to your single friends: One of the hardest parts about dating is finding someone to date. If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you start to feel rusty. Rather than getting nervous or feeling insecure, talk to your single friends. Get a few different perspectives that you’ll feel comfortable following.
Get out there: Dates won’t fall at your doorstep no matter how attractive you are so get out there again. Meetup.com is a great place to start if you’re not into dating sites. You can look for groups that cater to your interests, join up, and starting meeting new people.
Put the word out: We don’t mean create a craigslist ad but let your friends, family and neighbors know that you’re back on the market and what you’re looking for. You never know who they might know.
Have fun: Last but not least, don’t forget to have fun. Dating can be fun if you pick the right people and if you’re ready for it. It’s one step closer to your recovery process and helps you move forward in a positive and healthy way.
